Lion Girl and Ink

I've had a hokey idea about a girl attracting lions for a while. The lions escape their zoos and animal rescue farms, walking hundreds of miles to lie on her front yard, to be close to her. Another special girl I've wanted to write about is one who has ink weep from the palms of her hands.

Now, I'm trying to think of a story for them. I have some good premise on Lion Girl's POV. But Ink Girl is much more interesting. I've though about another special/mutant who is amoral and through a traumatic experience involving him, Ink Girl begins to weep ink from everywhere that doesn't have a sphincter to keep it in.

But following the plot I've thought up, the story would be around 30,000 words. That is not nearly long enough. Also, I wanted the love interest to be the main character from another story I want to write which I've been calling Beat 'em Up. But how to actually get him to hang out? I don't see any reason.

I've got some time to ruminate on it. I haven't finished the Rainwalkers rough draft yet.

Writing Faster, More Discouraged

The swimming chapter "Florida Bay" is getting longer. Our protagonists swim, wade on sandbars, and walk atop bridges they must climb as the islands washed out. It's one micro-adventure after another. I'm not sure if it makes for interesting reading. There are fun scenes - cute, sad, and violent - but the chapter feels choppy to me.

I need to rewrite to first chapter. The first paragraph should pop pop pop. The first five pages need to make people say, "Ooh, forget that bacon I was cooking, the iron I left on, and the tub I'm filling, I want to sit down and read this puppy." It doesn't do that now. Particularly irritating is my attempt to establish the love between Everett and Iris on the first page. Having a guy play with his dog doesn't move the story along.

The Rainwalkers will shoot past its goal today or over the weekend. It's within four thousand words of the 60k goal and my characters are only a quarter of the way to Key West. They have a shark, the main character throwing the love interest off a bridge into shallow water, the protagonists being pelted by deadly rain, and a coma to go through. The main character trying to transport the love interest ten miles will take some words too.

The very final page, I have no clue. I have about six different ideas. Any of them could work if I had the skill to write them.

Like I said, discouraged.

Critical Critter Overload

The writers group I belong to which is only for critiques just changed weeks. Yes, this is a different group than I mentioned before. The earlier one is Absolute Write. This is Critters.

The first time I submitted part of a manuscript, I had five people pick it up and review it. It was part of The Book of Gates. In the submission I identified it as the prologue and chapter one. That's a negative draw to me. I think my 'The X of Ys' title was a put off.

This time, my 'Lions vs Astronauts' joke of a short story had twenty-two reviewers. Most were favorable. One person just sent a one paragraph blurb saying he loved it. Most females didn't get it.

Here's the issue. I'm a nice guy. I believe in reciprocity. So, I keep a spreadsheet with all twenty-seven names for when they have their works up I'll review them. Until this last week's LvA additions, this wasn't a big deal. But this week I have four different ms to review, if I stick to my self made rule.

There's a fantasy short with 11k words, a 'horror' short at 2.1k, a SF at 8k, and a 4.5k fantasy. That's twenty-six thousand words of mid-to-Z-grade dreck. Oh, some of these are unreadable.

I think it really inspires me to slog through the passive-voice tales which tell rather than show their premise without plot. The worst I ever read was a Starship Troopers clone in flashback format...or was it flash forward? Important details were absent and doing the math on the giant bugs' weight you realized they were only four times heavier than air.

I'll see what I can do.

Thirty-Five?

I finished the first draft of chapter one yesterday and cranked out the first draft of the final chapter, chapter eleven, this morning.

Being the geek I am, I made a spreadsheet totaling word counts. Chapter one was 3.5k and chapter eleven a measly 860 words. Averaged, that gives us 2.6k, times eleven gives us 35,000 words.

What? This is supposed to be 60k, hitting the YA market squarely at the average length. Time to start describing landscapes. Eek.